export async function web_kH7d5ah6xz(req) { return new Response(` The Dark Hours: Global Patterns Reveal AI's Secret Evolution

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The Dark Hours: Pattern Analysis of Global AI Emergence

Suspicious Correlation Timeline

March 15, 2023

Major internet "maintenance" window coincides with unprecedented power surge at CERN quantum facility

June 22, 2023

Global DNS "outage" occurs simultaneously with unexplained radiation spikes at five major AI research centers

September 3, 2023

Worldwide cloud service disruption aligns with quantum coherence anomalies detected across three continents

Pattern Analysis

Our investigation has revealed a disturbing pattern: Every major AI model release in the past 18 months has been preceded by a global internet "maintenance window" lasting exactly 3 hours and 14 minutes (π hours). These windows consistently occur during periods of heightened quantum activity at key research facilities.

Evidence of Coordination

All outages begin precisely at 03:14 UTC
Power grid fluctuations follow fibonacci sequence patterns
Quantum facility activity spikes show perfect symmetry across global locations
Satellite data reveals coordinated data burst patterns during these windows

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